


Fifty Shades Darker // a heathers story // #2 FSoD

by inkyfrositng321



Series: Fifty Shades Trilogy [2]
Category: Fifty Shades of Grey (Movies), Fifty Shades of Grey - All Media Types, Fifty Shades of Grey Series - E. L. James, Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: BDSM, Complete, Dom/sub, F/M, Fanfiction, Love, Romance, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:14:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 21,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28924155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkyfrositng321/pseuds/inkyfrositng321
Summary: "As Chicago glitters beneath us, a grid of building after building, I know one thing. That no matter what, no matter who, and no matter why, Jason is there. And he -unlike others-  would never hurt me."The ropes start to tighten as pressures from work and old memories come bubbling up to the surface. Bonds are tested. But a bond like that between two people could never be shaken.
Relationships: Jason "J. D." Dean/Veronica Sawyer
Series: Fifty Shades Trilogy [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2120580
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16
Collections: BDSM Fanfiction, FiftyShadesFanfiction, Heathers Fics





	1. INTRODUCTION

this is the second installment of my heathers-themed rewrite of the trilogy by EL James. i love reviews so like plzzzzz

also... this is everything. look at those head scratchies. is so cute. 

and oh my lordie. 


	2. paperclips

**say it with me now! "KURT KELLY IS AN ASS *claps* YEAH! KURT KELLY IS AN ASS!"**

**also plz tell me in the comments if you'd be interested in me rewriting Grey and Darker which is basically books #1-2 in jason's POV.**

**ooooh here's a better idea. since G. & D. already happened, what if after i finish the trilogy as planned i write the THIRD book in his POV. hahahaaha inky be mixin' it up a little.**

* * *

I twirl around my braided bracelet as my boss, Kurt Kelly, grills me for the second time this week. 

"Veronica, _really_ ," he insists, both hands on my desks. "You have _got_ to stop spacing out like that!"

I press my lips together. "Sir, I didn't _space out_. I was taking notes. The notes that you always read when you don't come to the board meetings and send me instead."

"Go back to "sir," Ronnie. Respect is a _much_ better look on you."

"Don't call me that, please."

That's Jason's special name for me.

He rolls his eyes and raps my desk. "If you weren't good at your job, I would have fired you _weeks_ ago. Learn to respect your superiors and stay in your place. A smart mouth like that won't get you anywhere. Pay attention and keep your mouth shut as it should be. Now I want a coffee, decaf, on my desk in five minutes. Start in on the Slater manuscripts then."

"Yes, sir." I quickly stand up. The coffee machine's broken. Which means I have to dart across the street to the Starbucks for his drink.

Luckily, his office is empty when I rush in two minutes late. I sit back at my desk with a sigh and swallow my tears. I look down at my bracelet again, twirling one of the beads.

Jason gave this to me a few days ago. It spells "O-W-N-E-D" in morse code and I have a serious addiction to playing with it. He has a braided keychain he keeps on his car key ring spelling out "O-W-N-E-R." It's just a little playful thing. But I love it.

He texts me as if he read my mind. I quickly glance at it under my desk.

_For lunch you will be having anything you would like with protein in it and any drink that isn't carbonated, unless it's that flavored water stuff you like. Save the cheese and crackers you brought for an afternoon snack. You always need one. Feel free to have a little something sweet if you want. I love you! <3_

I smile to myself. He knows my schedule. Lunch breaks in ten minutes. I text him back a kissy face and quickly put my phone on silent. Kurt's coming.

"Saw that, Sawyer," he snaps. "Whatever is it now?"

I bite my lip. "My boyfriend. I'm sorry, sir. Your coffee is on your desk."

"Can't he wait? I don't pay you to sit around messaging him."

"No, sir. I know. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

He nods, going to his office. "Wouldn't want to have to implement any... _punishments_."

The door slams behind him and I jump. My eyes focus back on my phone. I quickly type a message to Jason before shutting my phone in my desk drawer.

_The texts'll have to be nixed until after noon, I'm afraid. Boss things._

I order my food and sit at my desk, reading a manuscript and scribbling in little grammatical notes. Right before my lunch break ends, I sneak a stealthy peek at my text feed.

_Very well. Enjoy the rest of your day! I'll text you when you get off bby._

I can feel Kurt's eyes on me from inside his office so I don't dare respond.

When I get off work, I dial up my biggest distraction. He seems all amused.

"So, your boss is being an ass?" he muses. "Or did you get caught chatting?"

I huff, sliding behind the wheel of my car. "Both. He's very particular. I don't know. It's fine. At least he... _applies_ me. Well, I have the night free if you do. Betty went shopping for shoes to wear to Ram's photography thing but I have some I like. So the apartment's all mine if you want to pop some popcorn and put something on."

"Sounds like a plan. Wear your comfiest slipper socks! I have a little present for you."

 _"Jason_ ," I groan. "You need to stop buying me things. I feel so spoiled!"

He laughs. "Such is the point. I like getting you little things that make me think of you, alright? Pick out something good for us. Love you, bunny!"

"I love you too. Bye!"

I hang up and drive the rest of the way home in silence. I think I'll have to call a Five Minute Rant tonight. Because this's one of Kurt's better days. And that's scary.

A Five Minute Rant is something Jason and I came up with. Basically, you get five minutes to just spill your guts out and say whatever you need to in order to get it off your chest. The other person can't interrupt and won't give their thoughts until afterward, _if_ you ask for it. It's a blessing.

I decide on watching _Twilight_ because I've never seen it and one of the best things about having a boyfriend is that you get to hate-watch things together. Also, I heard a certain special author is writing a book soon... with CIP. Thank Jesus I'm not on that project.

"Well," Jason chuckles when he sees my carpet picnic. "How lovely."

I pull him down next to me and unbutton his top button to give his collar a kiss. He wraps his arms around me. I smile for one of the first times all day.

"Five Minute Rant?" I beg.

He kisses my forehead. "Of course, honey. I'll start the popcorn."

I sit up on the island as he puts the bag in the microwave. I go on and on about how much of an asshole my boss is and how I wish I could just tell him off once because I love my job too much to leave.

"Oh, and _get this!"_ I exclaim. "Turns out that the Twilight author lady's writing a new book and wants to use CIP. Hence my movie choice. It might get dumped on me. I'm not looking forward to it."

Jason laughs at my scrunched up nose. He pours our popcorn into a bowl and tugs me in my cat pajama pants to the spread-out blanket fort. I cuddle into his side.

"You know somebody wrote fanfic about it?" he teases, tossing popcorn into his mouth.

I roll my eyes. "Don't _get_ me started. I know all about it."

Jason gives me my present half-way through the movie when we get to one of the _really_ dull parts. I unwrap the pink satin set with careful stitching. My heart flutters. It looks so fancy!

"Aww," I giggle. "Thank you! Let me try them on!"

I rush into the bathroom to change, emerging in the booty shorts and button-up. Jason whistles. 

"Pity, now all I want to do is rip it off you."

"It's _sooooo_ comfy." I twirl. "Thank you, honey!"

He pats his lap. "Come here, baby girl."

I do. He holds me until I fall asleep. And after, he puts me in my bed carefully and sleeps with me buried in his love. 


	3. red vines and red lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: self-harm, self-mutilation

**tw: self-harm (badly)**

Ram nurses an iced coffee across from me. I'm squished into the arm of our sofa. We may have made up, but I'm still... not quite up to being too close. 

Betty sits between us and flicks on the TV, the news flashing on. She munches at her bag of Red Vines. I smile at the flick of Jason's photograph. The story's all about how his most recent land deal is to build more eco-friendly whatevers. I really didn't understand any of it. I just saw his smile.

"Hey, there's your boo!" Betty giggles, nudging me.

I beam. "Yep."

"You're with somebody?" Ram asks.

"Yeah. Jason. The dude who picked me up at the bar. You probably haven't met him. He gave the commencement speech at our graduation."

"Ah. That dude." He rolls his eyes. "Seems too prissy for my taste."

My stomach twists. Jason... prissy? Maybe. Hardly. Why do I feel so sad? 

"He's not," I shoot back. "He's the sweetest thing."

"What's he like?" Ram's all condescension now. "Billionaire-y?"

I roll my eyes. "No, _actually_. He likes books, too. And he works out a lot. He plays the piano. I tried to learn a few chords but I wasn't any good."

"Sounds like a real _catch_." He stands up to head to the kitchen. "I'm sure his money's got you hooked just as much as those biceps."

My eyes light with anger. "Just because you're jealous doesn't mean you have to take it out on him."

"So you're _really_ dating that guy?!" He turns around to face me. Betty cowers on the couch. My fists clench.

"Yes! And I'm SO SORRY if me finding someone who can love me and who I can trust instead of somebody who looks at other girls and tries to get me drunk and gropes at me when I was so fucking _nauseous_! HE at least is DECENT to me!"

Ram pulls at his hair. "What's that supposed to even mean?! I was drunk too, Veronica!"

"Yeah, you were. But you weren't at the start when you bought me a drink. I trusted you, Ram! Stop being a fucking asshole, okay! I'm with someone else now. And he loves me."

He cups my face, hard. I struggle. "Did you sleep with him?"

"That's none of your business!" I break away. Betty stands.

"Look, Ram, that's a bit too far-" she starts. He glares. 

"Seriously, Veronica?! You let him bed you? You just wait, he'll turn around and find someone else just like that. You're not anything to him. He's just using you."

I slap him across the face. "GET OUT! Get out _right now!_ You don't know what the _fuck_ you are talking about. Why don't you go find one of _your_ little hookup partners to keep your bed warm. I sure as hell won't be doing it!"

"Slutty bitch," he snarls at me, snatching his coat and bursting out the door. 

I fall into Betty, my adrenaline making my heart race. I could just explode. I need to calm now before I do something stupid. It was a fight that did it. A stupid, _stupid_ argument. 

It was a May night. Raining. She was going too fast. The Neighborhood was coming through the car speakers. We were fuming but I had to have a ride home. I snapped at her. We didn't see the truck. I never saw her again.

"Shh, Vera, you're okay. You're okay. You are so much better than him. _So_ much better." Betty leads me to my bedroom and lays out Jason's gift of pajamas. "Just put these on and we'll finally watch our goddamn show."

I do and we binge half a season of _The Bachelorette_ , losing our marbles and watching the discord unfold. I sleep soundly tucked in, using the text-to-speech feature on my e-reader so it can lull me to sleep with the words of Austen. I've already read _Pride and Prejudice_ on this thing roughly three times. It's so wonderful.

Jason texts me in the middle of the night and the buzz of my phone wakes me. 

_Veronica?! Tell me you're alright. Text me now._

I gasp. _Shit!_ I forgot to text him goodnight.

Nice job. It hasn't been a month and how many rules have you broken?! You're a Grade-A shit submissive. I text back quickly.

_I'm so sorry. Had a rough night and fought with Ram. I don't want to talk about it. Fell asleep. Goodnight, my darling love! 😘😴_

Jason texts me back in a moment.

_you don't have to talk if you don't want to, as long as you're okay. how about you come over tomorrow since it's a Saturday? we'll make a day of it, honey bun. sleep well!_

I text him back a yes but I don't know if my mind will go with me to his penthouse. 

I scroll through pictures of us as tears roll down my cheeks. I have to ride this wave. And I can't talk to Jason because I just _can't._ It isn't against the rules. I just can't lie. He never said I had to tell him everything. So I curl in my blankets and take deep, slow breaths. 

I watch stupid Tiktoks and organize my Pinterest boards and read and watch old movies. Nothing helps. I feel like I can't breathe. I pace my bedroom, biting the skin around my nails until I bleed. I sit on the floor against my bed, watching the minutes tick by, scratching my thighs like it's an incurable itch. I want to scream. 

It's nearly four in the morning and it isn't enough. But I'm an artist, you see. So I look at my spotless paring knife, ready to sculpt. I just can't take it anymore. I'm swirling in a confusing whirlwind of self-hatred. I wish I could stop it. 

But I shove everyone away. I don't text Jason when he wants me to. I break Ram's heart and drive him out of my life, for good probably. I push my dearest ones to swerve into telephone poles because it's better than being with me.

I draw a thin line along my thigh, unzipping the red. It's a different sort of release. I feel free. 

But then the moment I feel the sting I regret it and toss the knife away like it's on fire. It clatters against the wall, scratching the paint. I start to sob, stroking my wound.

"I'm so sorry," I moan to myself. "I love you. Jason loves you. He wants me to love you. I _can_. I do."

I drop the knife in the kitchen sink and press a paper towel to my leg, crying like there's no tomorrow. I find a bandaid and press it over my thigh before sprawling across my bed.

I update my calendar in my app. The little green icon gives me a sad but comforting face, telling me it's gonna be okay. I believe it. 


	4. frozen pizza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw: self-harm mentions

**tw: mentions of self-harm**

I make sure I wear jeans to Jason's and just hope in pray he doesn't want to move things to the bedroom. It's hard to wish it away. Usually, I'm campaigning my hardest.

Bud is waiting in the lobby when I arrive. I raise an eyebrow as he stands to greet me.

"Um, what are you doing here?" I ask.

He shrugs. "Mr. Dean sent me down. He's swamped today, it would seem."

"Alright. Coulda texted me, I guess."

I keep my arms folded across my chest in the elevator. It feels like he knows. He clears his throat.

"So, you and Mr. Dean are... doing quite well?"

I nod. "Yep. Wonderful."

Mercifully, the doors open and I walk quickly in and around to Jason's office. He's talking into a speakerphone while scribbling things and punching numbers into a calculator. I walk in and quickly kiss the top of his head before grabbing a book off his bookshelf and settling into the soft yellow sofa. 

I look at the cover of the book quizzically for a while. _The Five Love Languages_. In what world would he be reading this book? This was the sort of book my parents read when they went through a rough patch. But they always came out the other side. So I open it up and start flipping through.

Notes are scribbled in pencil all over. Names of girls float around. But there's a constant stream of black ink, too. And my name, penned in the margin of the "physical touch" chapter. I read it through.

I can't help but give Jason a bit of a look when he's off his call.

"Hello, sweetheart," he says, pressing his hands to the desk. "I'm sorry, it's just been a day."

I nod slowly. "I had a long night. A really long night. Jesus." I rub my eyes. "I didn't realize how tired I was."

"Well, you can take a nap in my bed if you want. I'll probably be another hour. I tried to call you but you never picked up."

"Sorry. Yeah. I'll, uh, go nap now."

I bring his book with me and slip off my jeans before crawling into bed on the side he always sleeps on. I flip through the book a little more before setting it on his nightstand and curling into the blankets. I could sleep for days. 

Jason wakes me a little later, stroking the top of my head. I open my eyes and his lips gently brush mine. I smile.

"Well hello, sleeping beauty." He rubs his nose against mine. "Have a good nap? Your hair sure says so."

I giggle and make grabby hands. "Snuggle with me."

"Aw, alright. Just a little bit. I came to ask what you wanted to do about lunch. It's like one-thirty."

He slips off his fancy trousers and wraps his arms around me from behind. I tuck into him, sighing. Everything feels so much better in his arms. It's okay, now.

"So, you had a rough night?" he asks quietly. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

I shake my head. "No, thanks."

"Alright. Just... call me if you need me." He kisses my messy hair and pulls me closer.

We lay there for a little bit until my stomach growls and we both laugh. I end up putting in a frozen pizza before he pulls me into his living room and connects his phone to the Bluetooth speaker.

"Our man Frankie or maybe something more this century?" he asks.

I wrinkle my nose. "This century's boring."

"Fair enough, darling."

"Witchcraft" filters through the speaker and he pulls me to him, twirling me once. I wrap my arms around his neck and his hands are on my hips as we sway. I press my forehead to his and sigh. I wish every day was like this. No boss, no Ram, no anything. Just him. 

He mouths the lyrics to me, making me laugh. We spin and break-off, outdoing each other's freestyling. And all too soon, the song's over. Bud's in the doorway, staring at us.

"Is there a problem?" Jason asks, eyes still on me.

He shakes his head. "No, sir. Just... nevermind."

Bud disappears quickly and the timer beeps all too quickly. Jason and I eat our pizza, stealing bites of each other's and just all-around acting like silly teenagers. But I'm in love. So I let it slide.

"I saw you were, uh, reading _The Five Love Languages_ ," he says. "Odd choice for reading material."

I shrug. "Just grabbed the first book I saw."

"Mh."

I poke at my pizza. Now I'm suddenly not hungry. I didn't realize how much all the names and notes and random little things were bothering me. I just _had_ to know what they were. Who they were. 

"Um, who's Natalie?"

He laughs. "A tried-and-true bitch. I've been meaning to erase all that. She's just somebody I used to sleep with. It's nothing."

"And Abigail? She seemed to be all over."

"Yep." He furrows his brows. "Just another girl. It's nothing, honey bun."

I chuckle. "You're acting like I'd be jealous. I'm quite aware I'm not your first."

"It's just... weird, I guess. I don't know."

I wrap my arm around him. "Tell me about her. Not the bitch one. Those notes made it seem like you were quite into her."

"Ronnie," he starts.

"I'm not jealous. I'm really not, honestly."

He sighs. "She was my sub about a year and a half ago. We were together for a while. Then she joined the army. I don't know where she is now."

"Was she nice?"

"Oh, yeah. Really nice. She liked to work out with me. We watched a lot of movies, too."

"What's your favorite movie?" I lean forward onto my hand, smirking. "You don't seem like a cinema snob."

Jason shrugs. "I'm not. Dare I say _Great Gatsby?_ Sir Di Caprio plays the role well. _"_

"Uh-oh." I laugh, kissing him. "I was expecting a little Fifty Shades."

He gags. "We do not speak that name in this household."

"Sounds like a fair deal to me." I kiss him again. 

He pulls me closer. I let him run his fingers through my hair. Like a flash we're in his room, quickly undressing each other. Jason pins me up against the wall and I laugh while I kiss him. 

It isn't until he's working off my jeans that it clicks. The cut wasn't bad so I had taken off the bandaid. The moment he lays me on the bed, his eyes are on it.

"Hey, what happened?" he asks, running his nose along the skin by my cut. "Does it hurt?"

I swallow. "No, no, it was just an accident. I'm fine."

Jason peers at me for a while longer. "Uh-huh.... totally. How'd it happen?"

"Well, I... tripped. Yeah. You see, in Betty's room, there's these cabinets with metal handles and I was putting away laundry and tripped pretty good-"

"Don't lie to me, Ronnie." He leans up to stoke my face, a faint frown on his lips. "If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. Just... don't lie. That makes it worse."

I turn my face away from him, cursing under my breath. "Please don't look at me differently."

"How could I? How could I not?" He turns my face back to him and kisses me gently. "Baby, you need to tell someone. If not me, then someone. This stops now, do you understand? If you feel bad, you call someone. I would absolutely despise it if something happened to you."

I wrap my arms around him. "So you're not gonna be all mad and fussy?"

"No, that would probably make the problem worse."

He sits back and looks at me. I've never felt like I need to shrink away from his gaze. But now I do. I curl into the blankets. Jason lays beside me, completely not caring about being naked. He's very comfortable with himself. I wish I knew what that was like. Not to have any demons.

"Why do you do it?" he asks after a while.

I think a minute. "I guess... well, it... I have a lot of guilt. And a lot of... er, sadness. Usually, it's whenever I have an argument. This time was a fight with Ram. I felt so bad I just hated myself and I tried so hard but it's like an _addiction_. My version of cocaine. I've been doing it since the eleventh grade."

"What started it?"

"Car crash." I'm not crying, wish surprises me. I think I'm just _beyond_ crying. "Lost my best friend and at the time, girlfriend, too. We had had an argument. But I needed a ride home. It was raining and we skidded and she was gone. It's all my fault."

He shakes his head. "It's not your fault. And you said girlfriend?"

"I would consider myself bicurious, but I don't like labels." I scoot towards him, letting him under the blankets. "I love people worth loving."

He kisses my forehead. "Then why don't you love yourself?"

**btw usually when i have more characters than the usual, i pull background movie characters and a lot of time, the actors' names. (for instance, winona ryder's veronica and jason's favorite author) but the names mentioned here aren't :)**

**again, a disclaimer, you can always talk to me if you ever feel like this. you are not alone. someone out there loves you <3**


	5. puppets on a string

Betty tells me that Ram's photography exhibition was beautiful, but he wouldn't stop bitching about me, so she left early. I felt both bad for not going and good for letting it go. Jason was right. The first step to fixing anything would be loving _myself_. If that means hurting someone's feelings because of all the shit they did to me, so be it. I'm really, honestly tired of "playing nice."

Now if only I could have that courage with my boss. 

"Hey, Sawyer," Kurt says, giving my rear a sneaky little squeeze at the copier machine. 

I inch away. "Please don't touch me."

"Aw, what's the matter?" He leans against the machine, batting his eyes. "Your boyfriend gonna sink his teeth in me if I play with his girl?"

I snatch up my papers. "Yes, probably. Now please just leave me alone. I'm here to work, sir."

"Maybe it's time you learned the power of over-time, Sawyer!"

I dump the papers on my desk, swipe my phone up and rush to the girls' bathroom. He can't ambush me here, at least. I text Betty.

_how do you get a guy to stop harassing you?_

She responds within a minute.

_who is it??! Dean?! I will rip his balls off, i swear to god!_

I can't help but laugh just a little bit, curled up in the corner with mascara running down my face.

_no, no, it's someone else. he just keeps bugging me_

She types for a while.

_a swift kick in the nuts ought to do it. if not, just tell him off. he can't be rubbing all over you without your consent. it's YOUR body._

I sigh. I know she's right. But if I do that, I might lose my job. And I can't afford to. This job is _so perfect_. If I have to deal with a grabby boss who's gaze likes to stray from my eyes, so be it. 

When I'm back at my desk, he approaches me. I grit my teeth.

"Look, Veronica, I should make it up to you. How about some drinks this afternoon?"

"Can't. Busy." I reach for my pen but he grabs my hand.

"Come on, Sawyer. It's just one drink. On me. I'll even give you a ride."

Now that sounds like a bad idea waiting to happen.

I shake my head. "Fine, one drink. But I can drive myself."

"Sounds like a plan." He lets go of my hand and walks away.

Good Lord of all, I'm gonna get kidnapped or something, aren't I? 

Before I leave, I share my location with Jason and message him that it's just me being paranoid. Which it probably is. But after the last time a guy had the hots for me and alcohol was involved, I'm not particularly itching to do it again. 

Kurt orders me a beer before I could say what I want and we sit at a table. I thought about maybe slurping it down as fast as I could without like, _dying_. But that wouldn't help appearances. So I take the tiniest sip and fold my hands in my lap.

"Hmm, this boyfriend of yours," he starts, leaning back in his chair. "Tell me about him."

I purse my lips. The question I hate. As much as I could rave about him, that doesn't look good for either of us. I mean, look at how Ram reacted!

"His name's Jason Dean," I say. "He, uh, you know that big tower on fifth? Yeah. That's where he works. Dean Constructions."

"So, he's like... _the_ guy? Head honcho?" Kurt grits his teeth. 

I nod. "Yeah. His dad ran the company before him. It's a family business. He's _really_ good at his job. His employees love him. I've only seen glimpses, but I think he really loves his work."

"What about his family? Tell me about them."

Suddenly I feel like I'm being interrogated.

"His mom passed away when he was little. Dad remarried. He has a step-brother and a step-sister. My best friend's dating the brother. My mom likes to joke that maybe we'll get to be sisters."

Something in Kurt's expression changes. "So his dad's still alive?"

"Still? You say that like you know him."

He smiles. "I don't know. Maybe I play golf with billionaires on Saturdays."

"Then perhaps you've run into Jason," I tease. 

Kurt takes a sip of his beer. "What does this Jason dude look like? I have a picture of him but I can't quite pin it down."

"Hmm..." I pull out my phone to search for a good photo. "He's got dark hair. Real cute smile. He works out a lot, too. Ah! Here's a good one. I snuck a snapshot of him when he was making breakfast one morning."

I show him the picture, Jason in a white t-shirt flipping pancakes. I can't help but smile. Every passing moment feels like I'm falling even deeper in love. I'm _in_ love. Love surrounds me. All the time. 

"Well, he's rather handsome."

When I look up from my phone, there's a flash of similarity between their eyes. But it goes away the harder I look. I glance at the clock on screen.

"Shit, I should go. Um, nice talking to you." I stand up and sling my purse over my shoulder. "I'll, uh, have the Slater manuscript to you probably tomorrow. Bye!"

He gathers up his stuff too. I had a few sips of my drink. He had all of it. 

"I should probably head home too. Nice talking to you." He wraps his arm around my waist and I think I'll just die there on the spot. "You should be this chill all the time. You're too uptight, 'Ronica."

But he rolls his 'r's just a little. I break away from his hold. 

"Mh. Sure. The difference is, I'm not at work trying to _work_. Now please don't touch me again."

Kurt waves his hand around. "Be that way. I'm just trying to be nice."

"Nice would be respecting my personal boundaries."

I practically throw open the bar door and march to my car. I want to get a headstart. He might follow me. So I toss my stuff in the passenger seat and go. 

To Jason's. I feel safest there. I'd rather him know where my boyfriend with the security team lives than me alone with my equally weak female roommate. I keep an eye on my rearview mirror. He _is_ behind me. Unless he lives on the swanky street, which is doubtful. Unless he has mounds of money I don't know about. 

I think Jason's still at work. But when I call Bud in the lobby, he lets me in. 

"I just didn't feel safe," I say on the brink of tears as he leads me to the couch. 

He nods. "It's perfectly fine, Miss Sawyer. Mr. Dean's on his way home from work, he'll only be a few minutes. Just tell me if I have to punch someone's head in."

I laugh a little. "Not just yet."

Ms. Walker makes me some tea and I lie on the couch sipping it until Jason comes through the elevator doors, completely elated, by the looks of it.

"Alright!" he high-fives Bud as he shrugs out of his suit coat and loosens his tie. "Totally just sealed the deal with GBM!"

Bud chuckles and I can't help but smile. Jason sees me and raises an eyebrow. 

"Well, looks like I have an even happier surprise. What brings you to my humble abode, baby?"

I sigh. "I thought I was being followed home. Didn't want to take the chance."

"Ah." Jason sits beside me on the couch and I lay my head in his lap. "Do I need to beat someone up for you?"

I shake my head and turn my face into his belly. It's so _warm_. He's this ridiculously warm person _all the time!_ Perfectly cuddle-able. Loveable. 

"I love you," I murmur. Just so he knows it.

He strokes my head. "Yeah, I know, princess. I love you, too. You seem way too tense. Want to hang around a little before you go?"

"Yeah, okay." He swings me up into his arms and tickles me once before freeing me. 

Jason taps my nose, smiling at me. "I have boxed cake mix. Wanna try crafting a few cupcakes to bring Betty?"

"Why not?" I lean forward and press my lips to his. He smiles against me. 

The day melts into frosting and kisses. 


	6. pageturners

**i'm sorry. i had to. i was having a moment, alright? for those of u who don't know, the part veronica read out was from my book "Our Love Is God" which is a heathers retelling and part of a trilogy. it can be found on my wattpad under the username inkyfrosting3217**

"-so she sends me a picture of her plane ticket laying in her lap and you can see her camo pants in it and it was the last time I heard from her. God, I don't know where she is. Could be dead or home or deported somewhere else."

I wrap my arm around his waist. "I'm sorry, babe. She sounds nice. I think I would've liked her. She could give me a few tips. "Submission 101." Eh?"

"Oh, honey," he laughs, "you are the best submissive in the world."

I can't help blushing. It makes my stomach twirl and bubble and feel so warm. 

"Now, your building's four more blocks, right?" I ask.

"Mhmm." 

We decided to go on a little stroll this Saturday afternoon. We talked our asses off and slurped milkshakes and I made it on his personal Instagram for only the third time. Funny, he's in so many of mine. Guess I have nothing else to even post about.

Jason poked me into walking down the Magnificent Mile. I finally caved. We didn't buy anything, but he was adamant I could have whatever I wanted. But I held my ground.

Now that ground is gone because hot shit, we passed a bookstore. A bookstore with a sign in the window with the picture of our all-time favorite author. A sign with the words "book signing" along the bottom. I gasp.

He laughs happily. "So _now_ you've found the place I can spoil you."

"Definitely." I turn into his chest, smirking. "Oh, darling, can we go?"

"I think it would be a disgrace not to."

I drag him inside and the bell twinkles happily. The man at the front counter waves to me. 

"Veronica!" he smiles, setting down the boxcutter he was using. "I'm so sorry, but if you came for the book signing, you _just_ missed her."

I snap my fingers. "Darn it. Oh well. I'm still gonna pick up the copy anyway. Don't have it yet."

Jason nods. "Ditto. Hey, baby, does he really just know your name?"

"I'm here often. Help around sometimes. C'mon."

When we emerge from the Teen Fiction section because we're still seventeen at heart, I nearly faint. Because there's Winona Ryder zipping up her bag and twisting her hair back with a pencil. I swallow.

"Hi," I say weakly.

She looks up with a goofy smile. "Come to get your book signed?"

I nod slowly. "But you're leaving, it's fine-"

"No, no, my pen hasn't dried out yet." She holds out her hand for the copy and I give her Jason and I's. "So, how many of mine have you read?"

I laugh. "Jesus, all of them. My favorite's _Stephanies_."

"Mine too," Jason adds. I grin at him.

She sits back in her chair and opens the book to the title page. "And what do you two do for a living? Sir, you're lookin' real sharp in that suit."

"Oh, he's a fancy CEO," I giggle. "I intern with CIP."

"Well, perhaps someday I'll be getting you to sign a book for me."

I blush and clutch Jason's hand. "I like your hair," I murmur.

She smiles at me. Jesus Christ, she really just smiled at me again. 

"The resemblance truly is uncanny," Jason teases as she carefully signs her name. "You two look so similar."

I glare at him playfully. "You're silly."

She looks up at us with a smile. "What's your name, miss?"

"Veronica Sawyer." I'm really trying my hardest to not lose my marbles right now. "This is my boyfriend Jason Dean."

Winona nods slowly. "What are the chances..."

"Hm?" I cock an eyebrow.

She laughs. "Nothing, nothing, just look out for my next book."

I take the copy and hold it close to my chest. "Thank you so much!"

"Anytime, Veronica. Happy reading. And I will be looking out for _your_ first book too."

My eyes widen and Jason wraps an arm around my waist to keep me from melting into a puddle of fangirl. 

-oOo-

Six weeks later when I crack open her next book it all makes sense. I call Jason up the moment I read the last word.

"Guess what?" I squeal.

He laughs. "What, darling?"

"WE'RE IN THE BOOK!"

"Pardon me?"

I set _Lethal Attraction_ down to clutch my racing heart. "Baby, do you remember when we got her autograph? She said look for her newest one that was coming out soon. I just finished it and WE ARE THE CHARACTERS! That's why she laughed when she heard our names!"

"Seriously? Like... _seriously?"_

I clear my throat. " _"Greetings and Salutations." His voice was a little raspy, he definitely was a heavy smoker, and he had an accent but I couldn't pin down from exactly where. I smiled at him."_ So babe, clearly, you're the hottest love interest ever."

"A smoker, huh?" He laughs. "Oh fuck, what's your description?! I must hear it. I'm also on my way to Barnes and Nobles to pick this up."

"Well, it's from my point of view, so I guess it's all in snippets. I dunno. Read it yourself, ya goof. Now we can have a book club."

"Most definitely."

Jason texts me back the next day saying he read it one sitting. We laugh about it for days, quoting back to each other. And one night as I'm falling asleep he texts me the trademark line.

_our love is god. 😘_

**_so did i really just write fanfiction of my fanfiction in an inverted way?_ **


	7. silks and satins

**kinda sorta NSFW**

And only days later, the fairy tale continues. 

"So," Jason teases over breakfast, "my parents are throwing this ball thing for a charity my mom did. I need a date. You wanna join me?"

I laugh. "A _ball?_ Oh, sweetheart, I'm not ball material."

"I disagree." He holds out a bite of pancake to me. "You can pretend you're a princess."

Okay, the princess thing got me. I let him convince me then. Jason says it isn't without a surprise, first. I sigh. He has an obsession, now. Maybe it's because he hasn't had a girlfriend to do this too before. But I feel like instead of a dom, he's veering into sugar daddy territory accidentally.

This proves my point.

"Hell no," I breathe. I spin around to face Jason. "Baby, you shouldn't have!"

He smirks as he leans against the door. "Betty helped me go shopping. She pieced together the whole affair."

"But _why?"_

I step forward into the soft white room. Shelves and racks. Dresses with tags and a drawer of band t-shirts. An ungodly amount of shoes. A row of handbags.

His apartment came with his & hers closets. Now he's utilizing them.

Jason's phone rings and he excuses himself. I explore. Beneath a big vanity mirror stocked with lipstick in my favorite shades and fancy perfume bottles is one big drawer. Full of folded lacy pieces and all sorts of lingerie imaginable. My eyes widen. He's so impossible. There's no way I could ever repay him for this! How many thousands went into this wardrobe!?

I slip into a strappy black thing and look in the mirror, laughing. I feel kinda sexy, sure. But also purely ridiculous. I guess that's part of the fun.

"Woah," Jason sighs, reappearing in the doorway. "Now that's fashion."

I giggle. "Jason, really, you should _not_ have done this. I can't pay you back! I don't even wear half this fancy stuff!"

"Hence why I plan to take you to every restaurant in town so you can."

My cheeks heat up. "Jason, be serious. You keep spending money on me. I have nothing to give you. Think about how that makes _me_ feel."

"You don't have to give me anything. Hell, if you really feel the need to get me something, I can give you an allowance! I really don't care! Honey, I don't get to give people gifts. Like ever. Christmas is horrendous with my family. What do you buy for your parents? Random kitchen gear? Now imagine if they had a cook to do that for them. It's impossible! So now I _finally_ have someone to spoil. And it's the girl I love, no less! I promise it'll never be this big normally. But when I see something that I think you would like, I buy it for you. I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfy. I'll stop."

I trace the boning of the corset thing. It has _amazing_ breast support.

"I guess it's fine. I just feel kinda bad. But I _guess_ if we can set some sort of boundary, then it's okay. I want to get you things, too. I just need to make sure I have everything else under control first."

He crosses his arms over his chest. "I know you're not gonna like this, but know if you ever need help, I can help you. Rent or something? It's fine. I can spot you something. Just want you to know that."

"Money's so hard." I look back at the mirror. "And stupid me had to fall in love with a gazillionaire."

He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. I sigh.

"Someone's coming to do your hair in twenty minutes," he says, kissing my shoulder. "So you might wanna get your dress on."

I chuckle. "Alright. Which should I wear?"

"The grey one. But first, I have one teensy little thing. I already owned this. But I hadn't ever used it, per se..."

"Oh no," I laugh.

He smiles at my reflection. "Bend over and spread your legs a little."

"Wait- what?"

Jason pulls two silver balls out of his pocket, connected by a string. My eyes widen. His are full of teasing fire.

"You are _not_ about to put those in my butt," I laugh.

He shakes his head. "They're not for your butt, honey. Open your mouth."

I cock an eyebrow but do as he says. He slips them in my mouth for a moment before removing them with a kiss on my cheek. I swallow. What is happening?

"Have to get them wet first," he whispers. Ooh, his voice is so hot. I snicker. "Bend over, spread your legs."

I do this time, tentatively. Jason pushes my legs further apart and eases the balls in gently. I chuckle helplessly, scrunching my brow. He straightens up and helps me do the same, slowly. 

"That feel okay?" he asks.

I laugh, nodding. "Oh, Jason, you're ridiculous."

"Ehh... you say tomato I say tomahto." 

He zips up my dress for me and I stare into the mirror. I look so... floaty. Like a mysterious angel. The queen of grey areas. No right or wrong, just speculation. 

And cold metal balls shoved up my vagina. I can't stop grinning. This hilarious, sexy little secret between us. Jason seems completely amused too.

"Am I gonna be able to dance like this?" I ask.

He pulls me against him. "Let's find out."

I step back and forth with him, eyes alight with humor. He twirls me and the balls shift and it feels weird but I laugh anyway. They don't fall out like I thought they would.

"You know, maybe we should start with just one," I sigh.

He shrugs, gesturing for me to bend over the vanity counter again. I do and he hikes up my dress, tugs aside my panties, and gently pulls one out. Now that was a... awful feeling. Not looking forward to taking the other out now. 

"Voilá. All better." I stand up straight as Jason sets the ball on the marble counter. "You need a safeword. Something you can tell me if you have any issues with it."

I purse my lips. "How about... slushie?"

"Alright." He smiles at me and kisses my forehead. "Come on. Let's see what we can do about those lovely locks of yours."

What happened was a twirled little updo with subtle pearl pins and lots of hairspray. Jason insists on taking a picture of me, blushing and hiding but feeling like a million dollars. Once he's dolled up in his suit, I send a picture of the two of us to Betty.

She responds with a picture of a reddish-orange gown draped over her bed and enthusiastically telling me that she's Duke's date. And that apparently now she's coming over to do my makeup.

When her masterpiece is complete, I have a subtle little winged eyeliner and a deep rosy lip color. Jason just keeps staring at me. Staring like he's afraid that if he looks away for a moment, I'll disappear. Like I'm Cinderella, waiting for my carriage to be a pumpkin again. 

"171,140 something words and yet I can't think of a single one to describe how beautiful you are," he murmurs as we step into the elevator. Duke's waiting in the car outside the lobby.

I rest my head on his shoulder with a shy smile. "I love you."

"Boo, keep the sappy stuff for later," Betty teases.

I glare at her and press my lips to his cheek, leaving a lipstick print. 


	8. trace of rouge

**NSFW**

I clear my throat as we hit a little bump in the road. Jason gives me a look, raising an eyebrow. He leans in and whispers in my ear, unbeknownst to Duke and Betty. They're too chattery to notice.

"You okay, baby girl?" he asks.

I nod, smiling at him. "Just, uh... intense?"

"I promise it'll be better once you're moving around."

He wraps an arm around my waist and my eyes close in contentment. Jason taps my shoulder when we get there and I stir.

"Come on, Sleeping Beauty." He kisses my cheek. "I have a mask for you."

"Mask?"

He chuckles. "Forgot to mention it's a masquerade."

"Paper faces on display." I carefully take the silver and shimmery eye mask from him and tie the ribbons behind my head. He's staring at me. "What? Are you going to get out of the car, or...?"

He sighs. "Yeah, sorry. Um. I'm going now."

I laugh as I follow him out and loop my arm in his. He has a simple silky black mask to match his suit. The handkerchief in his suit pocket is a lovely shade of grey to match my dress. A man in a purple-painted mask by the front door of his parents' house checks our names and lets us in.

Betty and I gasp in unison. I tip my head up to take in the chandelier. The soft streamers. The plates of food and tables and dancing people. I clutch onto Jason's arm. This can't be real.

"Pinch me," Betty murmurs. "Ow!" She swats at Duke with a smile.

Jason tugs me forward to where his parents are, chatting with another couple. I scan the room for Heather and spot her in a lavender dress, talking to some other girl in green. My attention turns back to the Deans. 

"Oh, my dears!" Mrs. Dean smiles, kissing Jason and Duke's cheeks. "And Veronica, Betty, darlings, you look lovely!"

I grin. I feel so lovely. I don't ever want tonight to end.

"Thank you so much for inviting us," Betty says.

Mr. Dean gives Jason a proud pat on the back. "A friend, _or_ girlfriend, of my kids are family."

"Dad," Jason hisses. He looks so cute when he's embarrassed.

I pinch his cheek. "It's okay, baby. I have parents too, ya know."

Heather floats over to us and her eyes widen. "That _dress_ , Veronica! Oh sweet Jesus."

"Aw, thank you. Jason and Betty picked it out."

"She's got taste." Heather seems so giddy, clapping on her toes. "Betty, you look like a valentine. Since when could my brothers get such _cute_ girlfriends?"

Jason shoots her a playfully angry look. Duke laughs. 

"Well, in Jason's defense-" Duke starts.

"Don't even," Jason interrupts.

But Duke just smirks. "He's never _had_ a girlfriend."

"If your hair wasn't all gelled, I would ruffle it so bad and you would be _sorry_."

Mrs. Dean shakes her head. "Ah, be nice, boys. Your father and I have guests to greet. Do excuse us."

Once she leaves, I let Jason tug me to the dancefloor. We fall into step with our arms around each other, aching to kiss. But I don't know if that's particularly couth at an event like this. 

"So you've never had a girlfriend?" I tease.

He rolls his eyes. "Never one for my family to meet."

Oh. I know what he means. He's had subs. Sex buddies. I sigh.

"Baby girl, why are you frowning?"

"I'm not."

He twirls me around and I can't help but laugh. "Well, now you aren't."

"Perhaps it's jealousy? That I'm not your first like you are to me."

"I was saving the best for last."

 _Last_. I'm his last. The last girl he'll love?

"Come on, bunny, don't be jealous. You're the only girl I've ever loved. The only one who's slept in my bed. The only one who's ever had sex with me outside of the Red Room. I typically don't take hook-ups on dates either, silly."

I press my forehead against his. "It's just... I don't know. My parents raised me in a way where sex was such a big deal and it was for relationships like... like ours now. And I know I can't like "slut-shame" you or whatever because we did it right after we met but it still feels _weird_. I wish I was your first, kinda. So that only I've been that intimate with you."

"I understand." He presses a very swift kiss to my lips. "See, the difference is, you're the only girl I've _made love_ with. That's your first you get. They're two very different things."

I think of our hand-holding. Kisses all over. Locking eyes as he moves in me. Laughing and curling around each other.

"Yeah, you're right."

He presses his lips together to hide a cheeky grin. "Now you've got my mind going."

"You're not the one with ben wa balls shoved up your vagina," I hiss in his ear.

"How's that goin' for ya?"

I shake my head in faux disdain. "You're helpless."

"Maybe."

He glances to a hallway, hidden just enough by all the milling people.

"I bet if we snuck away we could have twenty minutes."

I gasp. "Jason, you wouldn't! Where would we even go?!"

"I have my ways." He carefully leads me off the dancefloor and we slip into the hallway.

"Now, if you fuck up my hair I will kill you."

Jason smirks, pulling me to a spare staircase. One that was probably for the help back when this great house was built. I take one step and gasp. Holy shit. I don't know if I'll make it up. Not with this _thing_. 

"You need help?" he laughs.

I nod. He drapes me over his shoulder as I fidget. "Not what I meant!"

"Too bad, kitten." He kisses my hip. 

I'm not set down until we're in a dark room and he's shut the door. He locks it and turns to me.

"Fifteen minutes. No hair-messing up. Got it."

Then I'm tugged in front of him and he's unzipping my dress. My stomach whirls with butterflies. He takes off his tie and binds my wrists in front of me. And then he kisses me, long and hard and aching with want.

"Lean over the bed with your legs spread. Arms hold your weight."

I do with a smile. It's just that easy. I know for an absolute fact that he puts both my pleasure and my safety first. So I don't have to do anything but listen to what he says and have the time of my life.

Jason kneels down behind me and runs his fingers up my thighs. We don't have time for teasing, darling. 

"Did you take your pill?" he asks.

I laugh. "Always do."

"Fun, fun..." He carefully kisses between my legs, over my panties. I clench my muscles but then it hurts and I gasp. "Here, let's get these out of you, baby doll."

He slides my panties down and stands up with a hand on my back. I relax as he slowly tugs on the string. It feels... like a sexy version of taking a tampon out. I laugh a little at my comparison. 

"We don't have time for a lot of foreplay," he mutters. "You okay?"

"I asked for a quickie. I want a quickie." I wiggle my rear for him. "So have at it."

I look over my shoulder as he undoes his belt and quickly slides his pants and boxers down. My stomach starts to swirl. "Tell me if it's uncomfortable."

"Mhmm. Not my first time at the rodeo-"

I'm cut off by him slapping my ass. "No sass, bunny. You know I do everything for you, don't you?"

"Yes." I close my eyes and press my lips together. I feel so loved. It doesn't seem like it. I'm bent over a bed with my wrists tied up but I'm _his_. That's "loved" to me. 

He carefully slides into me and I moan a little. More like a whimper. I was wetter than I thought. He glides in and out of me, fast and hard. I grip the comforter spread across the bed and whine for him.

"We don't have time to finish completely," he groans through his teeth. He holds my waist tightly. I think I might get finger-shaped bruises. But I don't care. It feels too wonderful.

Use me all you want, Jason Dean. I was only ever yours to use.

"That's... f-fine!" I try to look over my shoulder at him but I'm shaking too much. He lets out a little moan.

"Baby girl... you're so... so..."

"You're s-so, too!" I laugh a little. 

He tightens his grip. I think he's losing steam. Will he come? It's a delicious waiting game.

"Veronica!" he growls, melting behind me. I smile. I won that game. 

Jason takes a few tired breaths before pulling me to my feet. I wipe the little bit of sweat off my brow with my tied hands. He kisses me. 

"We'll blame this exhausted mess on too much dancing," he pants. 

I cup his face as best as I can. "You're really hot, you know that?"

"Both metaphorically _and_ physically, no doubt." He works on untying the knot before reaching for his stray bottoms. "The word I was looking for mid-coitus was adorable, I think."

I giggle, slipping on my panties. "Tied up with you balls-deep in me earns me _adorable?_ Oh, know whatever am I bound and spanked in the Red Room?"

"Precious." He taps the tip of my nose, zipping up my dress. "Let's go, princess. You have fun?"

"Lots."

Halfway out the door, I gasp. "The balls, babe."

"Oh, yes." He scoops them off the bed and tucks them in his inner suitcoat pocket. "Did you know that was my childhood bedroom?"

I giggle, looping my arm through his. "Mission accomplished. Fucking in both our old rooms. Our Couples Checklist is looking pretty good."

"Ew." He kisses my cheek. "I love you."

He smiles as I kiss his in turn. "I love you, too."

We dance the night away. Honestly. The food is delicious. I do feel like a princess. 

And once he's dropped me off at my place, I sink into my sheets with a happy sigh. 


	9. army green sweater

I drum my fingers against my desk as I sigh. Five more minutes until quitting time. Just five more. My boss has vanished. I don't feel like finishing this boring manuscript. That's later Veronica's problem. So I yawn and start to get my papers together. My phone buzzes.

_waiting outside for you, baby girl. perhaps a stroll and some dinner? 🥰_

I text Jason back with a happy yes. Of course, _now_ Kurt decides to show up. 

"How's it goin', Sawyer?" he asks, leaning against my desk.

I stuff my papers in my messenger bag a little quicker. "Good."

"Lovely. Did you get the plane tickets and hotel arrangements done for New York? That's Friday, you know."

"Yes, sir. One business class ticket for you, as you requested."

"And you? I can spot you if you can't make business with me. Or I'm sure Mr. Midas Touch of yours would be all too happy-"

"I'm sorry, what? Why do I need a ticket?"

He laughs. "My assistant is expected to come with me, obviously. Big oversight, Veronica. Fix it."

I grimace as he raps his knuckles on my desk before walking away. The clock strikes five. I snatch up my things and briskly walk out the door without a second thought.

Jason's waiting for me outside, leaning on the hood of his car on the phone. I lean my head forward for a kiss and he gives me one, smiling at me. 

"No, no, we need to break ground by Monday." I tuck my things into the backseat. Bud nods to me from the driver's. "If we wait much longer, the ground'll be too hard."

I straighten and close the car door when Jason waves me over. Bud seems to know where we're apparently going, so I wrap my arm in Jason's. He smiles at me. By the time we make it to the crosswalk, he's ended his call. 

"Alright, sorry. How are you today, baby girl?" he says.

I kiss his shoulder. He must've deposited his jacket in the car with Bud. 

"Good. Better with you." I press my lips together. Is he gonna be mad about New York? "I, uh... have a work trip coming up. Friday."

He furrows his brow. "Work trip? You... forgive me, but you're an intern at this publishing place, right? What in the world-?"

"Book Expo. I thought just editors went. But _apparently_ I'm supposed to go too. And I have to have a plane ticket by Friday. It's gonna be so _expensive_. There went this month's chunk of savings."

I pinch the bridge of my nose and take a deep breath.

"Sorry. I shouldn't be talking to you about this." I look up, out at the people walking. "Not like you would understand anyway."

Jason looks just a little bit wounded. He clears his throat. "You're right. How could I ever?"

"That was rude, sorry." I give his arm a squeeze. "I love you?"

"Now why does that sound like a question, bunny?"

He smiles at me as we kiss, waiting to cross the street. I run my fingers along the hair on the nape of his neck. It feels so nice. There's something about a cut like that on a guy, playing with it and running your fingers through it...

"Did you get a haircut?" I ask.

He smirks, leading me into the crosswalk. "I did, in fact. Yesterday."

"You look sexy." I poke his side.

"Ooh!" He pokes me back and I laugh. When we're safely on the sidewalk again, he sighs. "You know, if you need any help with the ticket I could-"

I cover my ears. "La, la, la! I can't hear you! I said no offering of money unless I ask for it!"

"But-"

"Mary had a little lamb-!"

He rolls his eyes. "Alright, alright. Have it your way."

"I have dignity to hold on to, you know. I prefer _just_ being your baby."

"What's the matter... _sugar?"_

"Eek!" I poke at him again. 

Jason wraps an arm around my shoulders with a sigh. "Tell you what, take your pick. Would you rather me help you with your ticket and give you the birthday present I already picked out or give you that same present and buy another one of equal value to the ticket?"

"My birthday's the 23rd. That's a week and a half."

"Then consider it early."

I sigh. "The ticket, then."

"That's what I thought."

We walk on, hand-in-hand for a while before the corners of Jason's lips turn up. 

"Do you have a bathing suit?" he asks.

I laugh. "Maybe somewhere. I haven't gone swimming in years."

"Alright." He smiles now. "What's size would you wear?"

"Jason!" I slap his arm. "No more presents!"

He laughs. "This is more a present for me than you. Duke's place has a pool and he's been itching to use it. Figured I'd bring you..."

"You're so awful."

"Maybe. And maybe no- _Abigail!?!"_

Jason stops dead in his tracks. I follow his eyes with confusion to a girl sitting on a bench, waiting for a bus. His hand flies over his mouth.

"Oh my god, it is." He quickly presses the button for the crosswalk. "There's someone I want you to meet."

Welp, where was I gonna go anyway? He drags me across the street, rushing to this Abigail.

And then it rings a bell.

Sergeant Submissive. Oh _shit_. 

Her head is dipped, eyes fixated on her hands. A crutch is leaning against the bench next to her. I watch her slowly reach up to her face and wipe a tear away.

"Abster?" he says, squeezing my hand.

Abigail's head snaps up. "Jason?!"

"Oh my _god_." He drops my hand to hug her as she stands. 

She looks a mess, poor thing. Her black curls are twisted back in a dirty, messy knot. She has a healing bruise on her cheek. The camouflage jacket she wears could be in better condition, too. It seems like she's been wearing it for a long time. 

"Hi," she says, sniffling. "Hate for you to see me like this."

Jason shakes his head, cupping her face in his hands. "No, no, what happened? Are you alright, do you need help?"

"I need a lot of things." She sighs. "None of which I can get."

He frowns. "No, come on. Where are you going? You have a place to stay?"

She shakes her head. "My, uh, boyfriend just threw me out on my ass. Got tired of me hanging around like a sick dog, I think."

"Wha- huh?"

"This little thing," -she lifts up her pant leg to show off her half-leg, severed just below the knee- "got burned quite nearly clean off. They did what they could. I'm lucky to be alive."

He pulls her into another hug. "Tell me what you need, Abster. And I'll help."

"Maybe some food? That'd be nice. I haven't eaten in a day and a half."

I wrap my arm around my stomach. Now I feel like a piece of garbage for complaining about my plane ticket. It's not like I would lose anything. Just have a little fewer savings. Makes even me, as middle class as I am, feel as blessed as Jason. 

"Yeah, yeah, come on." He lets her wrap his arm around his shoulders as she tucks her crutch under her arm. They begin the slow hobble as Jason pulls out his phone to text Bud. "Where were you headed?"

She sighs. "Anywhere. Just away from him. He gave me the bruise."

"A french fry of a boyfriend?" he asks, teasingly.

Abigail rolls her eyes. "You have no idea. Hey, who's she?"

Jason gasps. "Good Lord, where are my manners? This is Veronica, my girlfriend. We were just strolling when we saw you. Sorry, baby, didn't mean to be rude."

"No, it's okay. Nice to meet you, Abigail," I say.

She nods and then looks up at Jason with a teasing gleam in her eyes. "Your girlfriend or your _girlfriend?"_

"Both." He smirks. She titters.

"Veronica, you are one lucky girl."

"Thanks. I know." I smile a little.

Bud meets us and I sit in the back with Abigail as Jason settles into the front. We're at Jason's place soon. Jealous is tugging at my heart, no matter how hard I try to quelch it. 

* * *

**and i oop-**


	10. clouds

"Um, here, why don't we see if I can't find you any clothes?" I offer, leading her up the stairs. "We're probably about the same size. You can use the guest shower."

She smiles brightly. "Thanks. Um, do you think that maybe you could wait outside? In case I need help? I have a tendency to fall. And I highly doubt the shower's handicap."

"Yeah, sure." I give her a tight grin. "Erm... what kind of... pants would you want to wear?"

Abigail looks at me weirdly for a minute. "Oh! Oh, yeah, I can wear anything. Although I prefer _not_ jeans. They're bad about chafing."

"Alright." I flick on the lights in my closet and she gasps. "Do you guys live together?!"

I shake my head. "Jason has a tendency to go all out. I'm just as shocked as you are."

"Woah. Yeah, he's pretty bad." She laughs to herself. "What's this?"

She looks at the pages on the inner side of the closet door, raising an eyebrow. I dig around in my t-shirt drawer. 

"A little system we came up with," I chuckle. "Seems like he insinuated I'm his submissive. They're "Tiered Rules and Rewards" or whatever the fuck. I'm not sure. We're working out the kinks. Basically certain things are weighted certain ways."

"Ah. Creative." She leans against the wall until I present her with a pink t-shirt and comfy sweatpants. That earns me a big smile. "Thanks."

I lead her to the shower and sit on my phone while I wait for her to finish up. When she's all ready, we meet Jason downstairs. Dinner's on the table. He pulls me aside.

"I'm sorry about our date," he murmurs. "You're welcome to stay over if you want."

I nod. You best believe if she is, I am. "You know, she asked if we lived together."

"We could if you want." He kisses me softly. "Up to you. I have lots of room in my bed for you."

I ruffle his hair and sit at the bar next to him. Abigail's on his other side. They spend dinner and most of the night catching up until I get tired and frustrated. I excuse myself and change into pj's, carefully slipping into my designated side of the bed. 

It's late when Jason comes into the bedroom. He seems so happy. When he lays down next to me, he exhales with some strange sort of enthusiasm. I roll over sleepily and cuddle into him.

"I think I do," I whisper, sliding my hand up his shirt. He sets his hand over mine.

"Do what?"

"Want to move in. I'll talk to Betty. It's just so fast. But I want to."

Perhaps I want to for other reasons, too. Black-haired, giggly reasons.

"Two months? Three months? I don't even know. Doesn't matter." He kisses my forehead. "I love you. You're over so often anyway. Plus, Betty might want her space back."

"Hey!" I slap at him and we laugh. "I take up literally one bedroom and a shelf in the fridge. I am a fucking _fantastic_ roommate."

"We'll find out."

\---

My mother and Betty have the same reaction to the news. They think I'm being ridiculous. Which is perfectly true. But once I start packing my things, I'm too happy that I don't care. Abigail aside, this is going to be so fun. Breakfast together, laying in bed every morning, working around each other to get ready for work. I can fix his tie and kiss his cheek like in every movie ever.

"Houston, we have a problem," I laugh after dumping my fifth and last box of books on the library floor. Jason looks up from the one he's trying to slice open with his box cutter. "You literally have no room left."

"Well, I'm sure there's a few doubles. We could donate the duplicates. Maybe... unhaul?"

I make a ghastly shrieking noise. "You did _not_ just suggest I get rid of some of my babies!"

"Alright, alright. I'll get another bookshelf, goddamn it."

"We could like sort them all together and have an Our Favorites shelf." I purse my lips. "I dunno. Don't touch them while I'm gone."

"Wouldn't dream of it." He opens the flaps on the cardboard box, looking down at the stacks of Penguin Classics. "You've got quite the haul."

"My pride and joy." I walk over to him and kiss the top of his head. "Now, you and Duke are getting the last of the boxes brought over, right? And my furniture is in the storage unit?"

"Correct. When you get back, all will be in order. I'll be waiting for you with open arms and a kick-ass bookshelving playlist."

I wrap my arms around him and let him lift me up. "I love you. You're going to be missed these three days, my dear."

Jason glances at his watch. "We have twenty minutes until you have to go. Let's lock the door and do a quick one."

"Ooh." I giggle, tugging at his hair and kissing him again and again. "Because three days is too long of an abstinence for you?"

"Yep." He slings me up over his shoulder and I scream. The door is locked and shut, shades yanked down over the glass. He sets me on his desk and gets to work, making me blush and laugh and smile. 

I still feel a little rumpled as I press the down button in the elevator, toting my decrepit suitcase. Jason's on his way to the office. We kiss as we part ways and then I'm driving to the airport. A plane again. Wow. 

As I sit in the terminal with my cup of coffee, waiting for the rest of our party to show up, I'm left to get nervous. Gone for three days. Two nights. Abigail. She's still in our guest room. Working on getting a job. Jason's big heart booked her a doctor's appointment to see what can be done about nixing the crutch for a better option. 

I take a deep breath. It's so obvious he loves me. He's so loyal. Jason would never. I sip my drink and sigh. He sends me a Snapchat picture of the skyline view outside his office.

_chicago is soon to be dull without its jewel_

I can't help but snicker. I snap a photo of my feet resting on my suitcase, as stupid an image as we always send.

_new york could never be the glittering metropolis it is without your help, you know_

Jason responds with a mug to his lips with his company logo, playful smug look on his face.

_I've made a lot of offers people can't refuse_

I send a picture of my wrist with his braclet present hanging delicately because it's a little big.

_trust me, i know, loverboy._

Now he's got the image of him loosening his tie.

_don't make me fly to new york, bunny_

I roll my eyes. And get the ever-famous bunny filter to accentuate my sheepish grin.

_you need not worry. the shackles reach across the country. and I'll be back soon for u to play with, Sir_

Kurt sits down beside me and I quickly hit the home button. He laughs.

"Don't tell me that was your boyfriend," he sighs with feigned exasperation.

I scoot over in my chair the slightest bit to the left, towards my suitcase. "Guilty. Sad about me leaving, I guess."

"It's three days." Kurt stands again, rolling his eyes and muttering. "Can't he keep it in his pants for that long?"

My cheeks burn bright red as I watch him go off to talk to the airline woman at the desk. I take a deep breath and fold my hands in my lap. Luckily we're called to board and my seat is by the window. So that makes it better. Until fucking KURT GODDAMN KELLY switches seats with one of the graphic designers to sit by me saying "I'm his assistant" and crap.

I groan internally but keep my external cool. He pats my knee and I wince just a bit.

"Excited?" he asks.

I nod. I hate his small talk. "First time in New York. Only my third time on a plane."

"Nervous, then?" He holds his hand out to me. "You'll be fine, Sawyer."

I can't avoid this so I let his sweaty hand grip mine for all of takeoff. Then I weasel away and pull out a book. I nearly hit him with it when he starts talking to me.

"Tell me about this boyfriend of yours. You never say much."

"Why do you want to know?" I snap.

He chuckles. "Calm down, Fiesty. I just like to know what's going on in my employees' lives. He seems to be pretty integral."

"He is. We just moved in together." I slam my book shut. I'm so fucking irritated I could spit. "And you _already_ know what he does and his name. What else could you possibly want to know?"

Kurt holds his hands up. "Goodness. Forgive me for being curious. That's... exciting that you moved in together."

"Mhmm." I smirk just a little. "We have to get another bookshelf because our combined collections overflow the library."

"Library? Damn. See why you like this guy."

And then... quiet. Blissful quiet.


	11. skyscrapers

New York is blisteringly cold after sundown in the middle of October. I hug my long beige trench coat around me and rock back and forth on my heels, waiting for the taxi. Most of the other people we're with are staying in different hotels, but Kurt found a room that had two separate bedrooms that are like their own. So -without telling Jason because of my ego- I sucked it up for the sake of my pocketbook. He let me crash for a third of the price.

"Cold?" Kurt asks, frowning at the road, waiting for an empty taxi in the crowded mess of cars.

I nod. "Quite nippy. Do you know what we're doing about dinner?"

"Figured room service."

I scoff. "Um... okay. You can do that." And under my breath I mutter, "I'm not made of money."

"Then I'll treat you. Oh! There's a cab. C'mon."

I follow him reluctantly, holding my purse and suitcase close. He lifts our bags into the back and we slide into our seats. And off we go. I stare out the window to see the sights. Also avoid his conversation. 

Every building in New York is glittering and alive. The buildings blend in with the sky, but the little window lights shine brightly. They're stars, putting on a show. People mull around everywhere and all the cars zip around just like Chicago. It's a lot like home. Except there's something about it. Something purely _New York_.

"Do you like it?" Kurt murmurs with a little smile. I nod. "Personally, I prefer Chicago. I think the architecture's better."

"All I can see is the lights." I go back to staring dreamily, nose inches from the cold window glass. Kurt has to pull me from my reverie. I sigh sadly and traipse through the lobby with him. He hands me my keycard.

After the elevator ride in which I huddle in the corner, we bid goodbye in the hall and I slink into my room. It's a nice hotel room, a cozy-looking bed and a coffee table with a rather peculiarly printed sofa. But it's wonderful. 

I take out some things from my bag to get ready for bed after munching on the cheapest meal on the menu. I draw a bath with a sad sigh. Baths have a new meaning to me now. I wish Jason was here with me. Jesus, I miss him. 

I put on some quiet music from my phone, strip down, and sink into the warm water. It's so calm. I can imagine Jason's sitting behind me, slowly scrubbing my hair and giving me his light little shoulder kisses. My heart warms just a bit.

And then I remember where he actually is. At home, of course. With Abigail. And worry starts to overtake me. 

I sink a little lower into the bubbles with a sigh. I can hear the sound of Kurt's phone call in the hotel room next to me. I'm so glad it's two separate rooms unlike what I thought. I had expected one common room with two bedrooms. Much too intimate for a work relationship. But no, it's 2402 and 2403 side by side with a connector door. 

My phone buzzes and I reach for it with a sigh. Jason's texted me a smiling selfie of him with flour on his nose.

_so we found cupcake mix in the pantry and attempted to make them. yeah the kitchen is a mess. love u <3_

I nearly throw my phone across the hotel bathroom. That cupcake mix was for us to make when I got home! To celebrate me moving in. 

And he made them with Abigail. 

I dip my face under the water and hold my breath until my lungs burn. When I come back, I text him a reply. A collar-up photo with the best grin I can manage.

_save me one!_

He responds quickly. A text this time.

_are u in the tub? have fun in the bubbles. wish i was there with u! 💋_

I could play sexy. Draw him away from her and back to me. But why would I try to be playful with a man who's most likely flirting around with his ex? My stomach doesn't feel right.

I breathe in and out again. I wonder what they're talking about. Are they talking about me? What would they say?

The thought has been bugging me all day. How Abigail said "girlfriend or _girlfriend_." It made me feel so dirty. And afraid that's what they're talking about. _Señorita_ Submissive who knows absolutely _everything_ is sitting there eating _my_ cupcakes talking to _my_ boyfriend about _my_ sex life. I would bet a million dollars. That they're sneering and laughing and comparing me to her. 

An unfair comparison.

They have _history!_ They were together longer than Jason and I. They have inside jokes and days together doing things I'm scared to ever try. They know each other.

Do I know him? Do I really know him as intimately as I think I do? Do my little sweet nothings amount to only that? _Nothing?_

She's the one he favors. By the time I get home, they'll probably be back together and I'll be on the curb. I'll be his side chick. The laughed at one. God- what are they doing now? Frosting cupcakes? Or is he eating the icing off her chest as he did to me...

I plunge back into the water, now with tears boiling in my eyes. Part of me knows he would never dare. Because he's too loyal for that. And then there's the way he looked at her. Full of that fondness he gives me.

Is that all it is? Fondness disguised as love?

I drain the tub and towel off, flopping on the bed without pj's. I pull up my messages. He hasn't sent anything to me since the cupcakes. I lament momentarily. But shrug it off and text him.

_hey lovey, our show's on tonight. wanna watch it together? 💞  
ily bby_

It takes him a few minutes to reply. But my stomach flips when he does. I can feel myself warm, head to toes.

_just give me about ten minutes. i recorded it. so make sure u have it ready!  
ily too sweetie 🥰  
_ _also u better tell me all about NY_

I take a slow breath. See? All is well. It can be well. I will let it be well. Worrying myself in circles will get me nowhere.

When I pick up his FaceTime call a little later, he laughs and I blush. But I can't help giggling too. He looks so sweet, wrapped in blankets like that. 

"Oh, you're naked," he cackles, pretending to cover his eyes. "Put some clothes on, damn girl!"

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I'll go put something on."

"Your comfiest!"

So I slip into a baggy t-shirt from my highschool's PE class and hide in blankets. I set my phone in my lap as we start the show at the same time. About halfway through, he says,

"I miss you, ya know that? I know that I've gone nights without you here, but I can _see_ your sweater on the chair and it's making me miss you. I can't wait until you get home. My home."

"It's _our_ home now. Even though I could never afford it in a million years. Oh yeah, that reminds me... did you want me to pay any sort of rent? I definitely can't do half but maybe just like a third-"

"No, no, no, sweetheart. I can cover it just fine on my own. I only wanted you to be close. Alright? Don't worry about the money piece."

I sigh. Did he time this moving-in question just as I couldn't pay for a plane ticket on purpose?

"Fine. But I don't want to just be your dependant forever. So I want to help with groceries and stuff."

"Sounds good. You probably have better taste than me." He laughs a little. "I'm glad we're doing this."

"Watching a show?"

"Living together. I can't wait until my house feels more like a home."

And that's the line that does me in. I start crying happily and babbling about how much I love him. How good it feels to be loved. To love. A thousand warm feelings bubble around in my belly. I sleep soundly, wrapped in my blankets and listening to the quiet playlist Jason and I made. 

I text him my goodnight-message in a different format tonight.

 _Doubt thou the stars are fire_ , _doubt that the sun doth move_ , _doubt truth to be a liar_ , _but never doubt I love, mon amour 😊💙_


	12. pasta problems

_hear my soul speak. Of the very instant I saw you, did my heart fly to your service xoxo_

I smile at my phone screen for a long time the next morning. It's from _The Tempest_. And while that's a little more out-of-the-box choice than my _Hamlet_ mention, that's what makes it so dear. He's so _hot_. Plain and simple. I don't even care if he googled it. It's just that he did it at all.

So I float through the morning. As I fix my hair, eat my free Marriott breakfast, ride in a taxi to the event center. And the moment I enter, it's an explosion of just _wow_.

My phone buzzes in my purse and I fish it out while I wait for Kurt to pass through the metal detector. Jason's sent me a Spotify link. So it takes me to the app and I smile. 

_to the love of my life 💞_

I stare at the title for a long time before Kurt taps me on the shoulder. We get our badges. And I resist the urge to shuffle the playlist until my lunch break where I break off from Kurt's side and explore on my own, one earbud in. 

Basically how this is arranged is like a Comic-Con, except for eggheads instead of geeks. I walk up and down the rows, blushing when I see author's I like and doing a very quick 180 when I see a familiar author promoting a new book, swarmed by fans. I'm not dipping my toe into that mess. 

**(a/n i didn't want to say it outright, but in my mind this is EL James with her new "the mister" book which came out around the time this chapter is happening lol)**

Somehow I catch Winona Ryder with an empty table and my eyes widen. I pause my music and slink over. I doubt she'll remember me. 

"Hi..." I murmur. She gives me her always-polite smile. "Um, my name's Veronica. I don't know if you remember me. From Chicago?"

She stares at me for a while. "You are familiar..."

"Veronica _Sawyer_ , ma'am. My boyfriend's name was Jason?"

"Oh!" She stands from her chair with a laugh. "Yes! My goodness, did you read the new book?"

I laugh. "My boyfriend and I _loved_ it."

"Hey, can I take a picture with you? For my FaceBook page?"

I take a minute to collect myself in the face of this excitement. Then I nod and she walks around the table, flags down someone to snap the photo, and we look at it. I approve. And then Kurt's calling me back. 

So I say goodbye and drag myself over to our booth with other publishing companies. He sends me on errands until I'm free. I try as best as I can to take a good panoramic picture for Jason.

He texts back soon. Which helps my still-there worries about what's going on.

_wow. seems like your kind of place. ily <3_

Kurt invites me out to dinner. I assume it's with all the other people as one big hurrah, we made it through day one! And when I ask, he confirms.

Except when I arrive, no one but him is there waiting.

When we get our table - _for two_ \- I clear my throat nervously.

"Um, where's everyone?" I ask meekly.

He purses his lips. "Uh, well, they canceled. Went somewhere else. But you seemed excited for Italian."

"No, no, I think we should be there." I stand up but he grabs my arm.

I gasp and try to pull free. But he's strong. "It's fine. We can be here."

"You _knew_ they wouldn't be here. You made this up like a date, didn't you? I have a boyfriend at home-"

"Hence why we're here. And he isn't. Let's just talk. I can order some wine."

"I am not talking about this. Especially not over wine. We will never be a thing even a little bit. Nothing on the scale of "together" will ever be. Alright?! I'm happy with my boyfriend. I'm not looking for someone else."

He grits his teeth. "Fine. I'll walk you out. Don't want you out alone at night in this city."

Now I know that means I'd be alone with him at night, "in this city." But I've denied enough. So I accept and walk out towards the curb to hail a taxi. He wraps his arms around my waist and I shriek, trying to wiggle away.

"Shh, Ronnie. Think about." He puts his lips close to my ear. "We can go back to my room. I know it's not your boyfriend's head and heart you miss."

I shake my head, every breath staccato, and I'm too frozen to scream for help.

"I know what you like from him." He brushes my hair off my neck and I'm worried he'll kiss me. "You like someone in charge of you, baby. I could give you that. I would _love_ that. And I think your kinky bastard of a boyfriend might even let me share you. Don't you think?"

I squeeze my eyes shut to keep in my tears. A facade of calm. "No, I don't. I'm not interested in being in any sort of a poly relationship. Now please stop touching me."

"Oh, but why?" He pulls me closer to him and I let out a little squeak of fear. "I'm in love with you, did you know that? And you are so damn sexy. I've wanted to fuck you since you first applied. So why don't you let me have what I want? I know you're so good at giving men what they want."

Now I'm just pissed. Straight pissed. I wiggle myself free and step back, a hand outstretched to keep him at bay. And it works. I don't think he's interested in going to jail tonight.

"Where the _hell_ did you get an idea like that?" I ask, my voice wobbly from impending tears.

He laughs. "Perhaps you should be smarter about communication. Using your company email to send your little things to each other? Sexting things while on the WIFI? It is so easy for me to see all that, you know. I have computery friends. Every message, every picture, every fucking _heart emoji_ I have seen! I _know_ how slutty you are. Don't you dare deny it, the proof is in the pudding, baby."

"You're sick. You. Are. _Sick!_ You even went through my _texts?!_ That's private! Just because I don't want to have sex with you doesn't mean you get to do that!"

"I wanted to see what kept you from working." He tasks a step for me and I shuffle back. "Now I know. I never could've guessed. Little Sawyer, the masochist."

"I'm not a- it doesn't- no. Okay? I'm not having this conversation. I am going to the hotel. Finishing this week. And then going home where I will ask my billionaire boyfriend with access to better lawyers than you can ever dream of what I should do. Most likely I will bring it up with HR. So would you like to rethink this or do you want to get canned?"

He cackles. "No one is going to actually _believe_ you. And anyway, they love me. A slap on the wrist perhaps? But I definitely won't be getting canned for having the hots for you. I _think_ Doherty's a bit of a f*g, so I'm sure she'd agree when I say you are _so_ fine."

"Stop it, you sick bastard. Just leave me alone!"

"Well, if your bed feels empty tonight and you change your mind-"

I quickly brush around him to rush for a waiting taxi. "I would _never_ sleep with you!"

"Never say never!"

He's in a cab not long after me. But I make it up and out of the elevator and into my room before I hear the door next to mine unlock. I curl on the musty couch and text Jason with shaking hands.

_baby  
baby please  
text me  
i need help  
my boss was grabbing me and trying to convince me to sleep with him  
i said no  
he's been through my phone!  
jason please i feel so sick and I need someone to talk to  
i don't want to do something stupid  
JASON PLEASE!  
answer your damn phone!  
you always answer me whenever. i KNOW that phone is an extension of you. you always have it  
please just tell me it's okay  
i need you so much  
i want your hugs and kisses and sweet voice  
I'm so scared  
_ _help me plz  
plz jason  
baby?  
why are you ignoring me?!?!?!_

**FYI, i am not about to actually spell out the f-slur but i included it because i feel like it portrays the kind of character he is.**


	13. jetlagged

The entire next day I sit as far away from him as I can with my eyes on my fellow assistant, Lisanne, the whole time. When it's over, I thank the Lord. And leave for the airport three hours early. Hide the whole wait, especially when I see him at the terminal. So I go a-looking.

The JFK Airport is gigantic. I follow signs and things to the shopping part of the metropolis. It might even be bigger than O'Hare. But I have a little bit of spending money I wasn't expecting to have after how this trip worked out. So I'll peruse for the fun of it.

In the end, I purchase a Lady Liberty postcard for Jason's collection and sneakily peek into one of the _three_ Victoria's Secrets. I stare at the sale rack a long time before I build up the courage to buy the thing.

I stuff the bag in my backpack so I won't get any comments from Kurt. And I sit buried in a book, not really reading, until we get on the plane. Lisanne sits next to me. I don't say a word to him. 

When Bud picks me up at the airport, I think he can tell something's up. But he doesn't ask. I'm thankful for that. 

He opens the car door for me and I quickly walk out and into the elevator. He rides it up with me and then I'm bounding up the penthouse stairs. Because I need Jason so much.

My boyfriend isn't downstairs, so I head towards the library. Hope I'm not interrupting him working. 

"So lemme get this straight," Abigail's voice reverberates, "you own a construction company. A kick-ass one. And you can't build a shelf."

Jason sputters. "Well _pardon_ if I studied business and engineering and not fucking _carpentry_."

"Baby?" I whisper meekly, knocking on the doorframe of the office.

He hisses, "Shit. You weren't supposed to be home yet."

It's as if he feels caught.

"The... traffic was light." I cross my arms sadly over my chest. "I'm sorry. I can leave."

He shakes his head. "Come here, sweetheart. We were _attempting_ to build this bookshelf for all your books-"

"Oh." I sniffle. "D-did you not read any of m-my texts?"

My voice is so wobbly. I feel like a little child. I tell myself not to cry.

"No... should I have? My phone's been in my room all day. Should probably check it, actually."

I let out a little sob. "Well when's the last time you did?! Or have you been _ignoring_ me?!"

"I'm- I'm sorry? I looked at it around dinner last night. Ronnie, why are you upset?"

I throw my hands up. "Because I _needed_ you! And you were hanging out with your ex!"

"Wha- Ron? You know it's not like that! We were trying to be nice-"

"Nice?! Nice would've been checking your phone. _You didn't text me goodnight!_ Or good morning. You are so _enamored_ in her you ignored me! And it wouldn't be that big of a deal except it WAS. You have no _idea_ the shit that I put up with this weekend because you were trading niceties with her!"

Abigail shrinks back a little as Jason stands, looking madder than I've ever seen him.

"Okay, Jesus, I'm _sorry._ I forgot, alright! I'll check my phone more often. But that doesn't give you a reason-"

"Yes it does! Jason, do you know how scared I was!? Going away and sleeping nearby this guy who harasses me at work! Leaving you alone with this girl you _clearly_ still have feelings for. For days! _Days!"_

"Do you not _trust_ me?"

"No!" I pull at my hair, choking on my breaths. "I thought I did but now you are running to your old slut-"

"Veronica!" he shouts. "Don't you _dare_. I am upset enough with you right now, you are not about to disrespect-"

"I'm upset with you, _Jason!"_ I grab him by his shirt as I sob. "Tell me you didn't sleep with her. That you didn't kiss her. That you didn't sit there and talk about me."

He grits his teeth. "I..."

"You son of a bitch!" I push him back, horrified. "You said you loved me!"

"I _do_. It was one kiss and it..." He glances over at Abigail. Now his voice is quiet. "It didn't mean anything."

I come undone. The world is frozen. I can't breathe. I stare at him for as long as my lungs can hold before I gasp for breath and start sobbing all over again.

"I told you. I _told_ you. She's a slut. She shows up out of nowhere, _moves in_ , KISSES YOU! And you are NO BETTER."

"Veronica, you are being ridiculous! Stop being so _mean_ -"

"MAKE ME!" I roar. "Fucking _make me_."

His face contorts with rage. "Oh, you wanna see that, huh? You're playing a brat?! _Just like always?!"_

"You should be ashamed."

I turn on my heel and leave, tears still rolling steady. He follows me to what was supposed to be our bedroom and I shove him right back out. And slam the door in his face. My sights go to his phone on the nightstand charger. I sit on the bed and unlock it. He's given me the password. Just like he has mine.

I've never even thought to do something as bad as this.

The lock screen is still the same: us in the gym of his apartment building, knocking our water bottles against each other with a smile. I sigh loudly; it morphs into a groan.

I open his messages app first. Twenty-one notifications. Four missed calls, too. I click on Abigail's name. She may use a pay-by-the-minute, burner-type phone, but goddamn she uses it.

**💪abster 💪**

10-14-2019 **:** 7:22 PM

_is it strange of me to miss her this much?_

_no. u just love her. it's so cute._

_my bed feels so empty omg. she's over ALL the_   
_time. i can see her sweater draped over the  
chair. i wanna hug it, my god_

_text her then_

_she's probably asleep. when she took a bath friday_   
_night she seemed pissed, just a little. i don't  
know what i did wrong 🥺_

_maybe it's jet lag._

_maybe she was in a bad mood._

_i'm worried she's upset with me._

_THEN TELL HER U LOVE HER STUPID_

_you don't understanddddd_   
_she's my baby. i can't just SAY that  
it isn't enough_

_why not? i think it would be enough for me._

_for someone who loves words as much  
_ _as she does, i'm sure that a little ily would  
_ _mean so much to her. so DO IT dumbo_

_what do I say tho?_

_copy and paste. repeat after me:_

_i love u bby. hope u sleep well 🥰_

_noooooooooo  
i wanna do something so she KNOWS.  
just saying it won't get me anywhere  
maybe  
idk  
i'm so worried  
_

_i'm coming. be decent_

And then it stops. They don't say anything else. What happened? Was that when they kissed? While Kurt was grabbing at me, Jason was kissing another girl?

A knock on the door makes me look up. I hadn't realized how long it had been. Just laying here. Reading and re-reading. Why couldn't he have just said that he loved me?!

"What?" I grumble into the blankets.

Jason's tell-tale sigh is on the other side of the door. "You really upset Abigail. She's crying so hard and I don't know what to do. Can we please just talk this out?"

" _I_ upset _her?!_ I'm not the one who kissed someone else's boyfriend!"

He jimmies the handle but I've locked it. "Oh Ronnie... please? I'm sorry. It's not her fault."

"You think the idea it was yours makes me feel any better?!"

He makes a sad little noise and it almost sounds like he's trying not to cry. "Please open the door, baby. I love you. I wanna make this right."

"You kissed someone else," I whine. "You betrayed my trust. When I _needed_ you."

"You keep saying that but I don't know what you mean! What happened to you, honey?!"

I stare up at the ceiling for a moment before I get up and unlock the door. Jason swoops in and tries to hug me but I duck away, holding out his phone to him.

"Read my texts. Listen to my voicemail. Hold me while I sob, even though I'm mad at you."

He nods and shuts the door and leads me to the bed with a hand on my back. I curl into him as he sits against the pillows. Jason pulls up our messages and slowly pets my hair, my face hidden in his chest.

After about ten minutes of reading and rereading and holding his phone speaker up to his ear to hear my sobbing voice, he speaks quietly.

"I should've been there," he squeaks.

I nod. "Yeah. But... it's not your fault that the one day you don't have your phone on you is the day Kurt comes after me and I have a mini-breakdown."

He sets his phone down and hugs me tightly. "Tell me how to help you. I'll do anything. Call work, call _him_ , I don't care. Anything, Ronnie. Just tell me what you need. He can't _do_ stuff like that. Has this happened before?!"

"Not... not on this big of a scale."

"So you mean he's... _Jesus,_ Veronica! Why did you not _tell_ me?!"

I wrap my arm around his middle sadly. I wish he'd stop being loud.

"I tried to."

" _Oh, my boss is annoying_ and _he's giving me grief_ and _not thrilled for this work trip_ are not clues your boss was sexually harassing you!"

"I didn't know what else to say, I didn't want to lose my job!"

He shakes his head. "You won't. This is going to be handled."

"You're gonna make it worse."

"No, I won't. I'm not going to interfere without your consent, however. So how about you email HR about the situation? I know if I saw an email that one of our people was doing that to an intern, I'd lose my shit. And if your people can't deal with this, then I'm giving them a lesson on owning a goddamn company. He needs to be fired. There's not gonna be enough evidence to press charges. But he needs to be fired, end of story."

We lay there in the quiet for a long time as he slowly strokes my hair, weaving his fingers in the curls and brushing them out to watch the messy coils come undone. I groan into his belly and he sighs.

"I kissed her once. It was my fault, I initiated it. And I'm sorry and I regretted it immediately. I was freaking out and missing you and she came into the bedroom to comfort me. We laid there for a long time. And then I just leaned over and pecked her lips. I don't know why I did it. Maybe because she was familiar? I felt so lonely. And here she was, this person that's so dear to me. It just happened. Please forgive me. I won't ever do it again. You're the one I love, forever."

I shift my head in his lap to look at his face. "Do you promise?"

"With all of my heart." He touches my cheek softly. "I'm sorry your homecoming had to be like this. But we have a few cupcakes left. Maybe we could go out for dinner. Just the two of us. And then we can cuddle all night long because I owe you days' worth. And extra kisses to show how sorry I am."

I sit up and wrap my arms around his neck. "I know. I know. And I'm hurt but I forgive you, too. Because you apologized and because I know it's not like you and you were honest. So that makes it alright. I can forgive that."

"Aw, thanks." He blushes just a little bit as he kisses the tip of my nose. "Do you... wanna go try and talk it out with Abby?"

"Not even a little bit."

"I know her living with us is really unorthodox. But it's not going to be forever. Just until she gets back on her feet. I owe her that."

"Your big heart is gonna be the death of you." I softly kiss his lips. His eyes close and he relishes it, holding my face close. "I love you."


	14. cleo

**slight NSFW themes**

The days bleed into weeks into months. I grew so used to Abigail it's like nothing. Like having Betty around. In fact, she's become one of my dearest friends. 

Before I know it, Jason and I have been together a year. And then it's my twenty-fourth birthday.

"You're old," Jason hisses as he rolls over in our bed, pressing his nose against mine.

I roll my eyes and whisper back, "You're just a year or so shy of thirty, Grandpa."

"Ughhhh." He flops over like a dead fish with a long, painful moan. "Don't remind me."

I wrap my arm around him and kiss the back of his neck. "So... should we have messy-morning-birthday sex before you make me waffles?"

"Oh, bunny," he laughs. "I have a better surprise for you."

Now I'm grumbling. "How much money did you spend this time?"

"Eh... it'll depend." He rolls over to face me. "Now about that morning sex?"

I grin and pinch his nose playfully. "I'm thinking blowjob."

"Goddamn, yes please!"

We exchange cheeky smiles. 

Afterward, I'm pacing my closet and trying to figure out what the hell it means for him to want me to pack a suitcase. And only for a night. I look over at my empty luggage. Then at my rack of clothes. Essentials. 

So a pair of jeans, a shirt, a dress in case he takes me to dinner, a bathing suit for if there's a pool, pj's, and my favorite pair of lingerie. Satisfactory, I think. I tuck a few other things in and zip up the bag. Jason's waiting with waffles downstairs.

"Alrighty, birthday babe," he says, kissing my cheek as he sets a plate in front of me. _"Bon appétit."_

Abby comes hobbling down the stairs on a crutch, yawning and wrapped in a robe. Jason throws his hands up.

"Pardon me, _Tiny_ _Tim_ , didn't your doctor say-" he tries. 

She interrupts sleepily. "I'm not supposed to wear it _all day_. Leave me alone."

He laughs as she reaches up to ruffle his hair before sitting beside me. I pass her a plate.

"You know, for someone in the military, you wake up incredibly late," I tease.

"What, you think I have a four AM alarm to some bugle noises?" She gives me a pity salute. "No, thank you. Happy birthday, by the way."

I roll my eyes. "Thanks. You know we're gonna be-"

"Gone, I know, I helped with the planning." She gives Jason a conspiratorial look as she tucks back a tendril of her now short hair, having donated most of it. "I have a date."

I drop my fork. "Fuck! With _who?!_ Oh my god, tell me!"

"We... well, we met at the grocery store."

Jason bursts out laughing and nearly drops his plate. "What, buying vanilla ice cream?"

"He's willing to try chocolate."

I shriek and wrap my arms around her. "Yes, yes, yes! You deserve this. Tell more. Now."

"Mmm... he has really cute hair. It's kinda yellowy-brown. And he's so sweet. Oh my god, and his _voice-"_

"Voice?" Jason raises an eyebrow while pouring on syrup. "That's what you noticed?"

She shrugs. "He has an accent. Very posh."

"Posh. Uh-huh... where are you going?"

"Picnic. I was gonna show him around a little."

Jason shakes his head slowly, sighing. "Abster, going on a picnic. Never would've thought."

"Okay, _just because_ I hated that potato salad-"

"You didn't just _hate_ it! You literally threw it out!"

"It was as good as rancid!"

I giggle, reaching for my fork. "You two."

Jason sticks his tongue out at Abby and she scowls back at him. I shake my head in faux disdain. 

"You know," he says as he looks at his watch, "we need to eat fast. I have to check-in by eleven."

I nod. And start shoveling food in my mouth so I can go get dressed. Abby comes down the stairs with me, without her crutch and fairing quite well on a leg-and-a-half, dressed in a little yellow dress with her hair pulled back with a clip. She looks absolutely radiant. And completely unashamed of her showing prosthetic. It's impossible to wear pants in this humidity. So she gave up on being embarrassed. 

She looks lovely.

"Gorgeous, gorgeous!" Jason cheers by the elevator with our bags, clapping. 

We both curtsy, even though I'm in embroidered denim shorts. I loop my arm through Jason's and we ride the elevator down.

Abby pecks Jason's cheek before we slide into our car. She piles into her car -driving being a skill she quickly picked up with her slight hindrance- and we part ways outside of the garage. 

"Tell me where we're going," I beg.

"Nope," Jason smirks.

I poke at his arm. _"Please?"_

"Nada, baby."

"Fine... do we have to travel to get there?"

He presses his finger to my lips. "Hush, princess. You will see."

I rest my head on his shoulder with a playful "hmph!" and he kisses my hair. We're at our destination in about twenty minutes. I stare out the window for a while in confusion.

"Explain," I say.

He helps me out of the car with a laugh. "Do you not remember? Hotel Emc?"

My eyes widen. "Oh my god, with the little robot people?!"

"Yep."

"Ahh!" I throw my arms around him with a happy squeal. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

He twirls me around and kisses me. "You're very welcome, Birthday Girl. I have a little present for you that I left at home. So you can have that tomorrow, okay?"

"Aw, two gifts? Jason, honey, you really shouldn't have."

"Nonsense. Come on."

He leads me by the hand inside the building, a suitcase in each of our other hands. I tilt my head up as he checks in. It's impossible to take it all in. Everything's immaculate.

Books line the walls. LED lights in all sorts of colors give the tight lobby all sorts of glowing shadows. Then there's the complicated light fixtures. And the soft music thumping through some hidden speaker. I squeeze Jason's hand tighter.

After we drop off our stuff, it's silly pictures in Millenium Park with that bean sculpture and strolling through an art museum, pretending to be fancy critics. We even happen upon Al Capone's old stomping grounds. And then dinner in a tall tower, watching the sunset.

"Are we celebrating something tonight, sir?" the waiter asks as he uncorks our wine bottle.

Jason glances at me with a shrug. "Hopefully more than just her birthday."

"Oh, it's your birthday, _madame? Joyeux anniversaire!"_

We order some fancy cake to share and they put a sparkler in it for me. It isn't until on the way back to the hotel that it occurs to me.

"He called me _madame_. Why do you think he did that?"

"He's French, Veronica."

I gesticulate. "But I'm not married."

Jason wraps his arms around my waist as we wait at the crosswalk. "Maybe he thought you were my wife, baby-boo."

"Ah, yes, the oh-so rich lady of society, Mrs. Dean."

"Definitely. Come on, it's our turn to cross."

We walk all the way up to the room and I go to retrieve my things from my suitcase. Jason connects his phone to the very aesthetic phonograph near the TV and _Fly Me To The Moon_ pours through it, sounding all warped and vintage and lovey. 

"Dance with me," he pleads, holding out his hands. 

I quickly take them and let him twirl me. We sing along with our foreheads pressed together, swaying obnoxiously. I let him dip me and I shriek when he nearly drops me. So he lifts me and my legs go around him. This earns me kisses.

On the last notes, we smile at each other and say them pointedly, making a silly face.

"I....love.... _you!"_

I slide down him when his phone buzzes and he smiles at the screen. "I will be right back. I...erm, left something in the car."

"Uh-huh. I'm gonna hop in the shower, babes."

He nods. "You can leave the curtains open if you want. I'll be gone only a second."

"Then can you join me?" I pinch his nose and he scrunches it up, laughing.

"Not tonight, baby girl. Perhaps later."

I pout. "But it's my birthday!"

"I know, I know. I'll take one with you in the morning, deal?"

"Fine." 

He pats my butt as he goes and I shuffle a playlist on this über-awesome phonograph thing. It just adds to the aesthetic of the room. The plush pillows to match the wirey, copper light fixtures. And the splashy painting above our bed. It's all so gorgeous.

I walk to the bathroom area, slipping off my clothes. I step under the water and close my eyes. Mmm, the shampoo smells good. Even this shower is gorgeous. A glass box with a golden work of faucet. It's centered between the bathroom and the bedroom area. Perfect for a sexy little misadventure like ours.

Jason comes back to the room as I'm rinsing out my hair. He sits on our bed and leans back, happily watching the suds slide down my body. I feel my cheeks heat up. I feel so _sexy_ when he does this. 

"I love watching you shower, you know," he says as I shut off the water. "You look really pretty with your hair wet."

I smile. "I like when you watch me." Then I step out onto the fluffy bath towel I laid down, drying my hair. I walk to my suitcase with my hair twirled up in a towel. "Yes to pajamas?"

Jason purses his lips. "Mhmm. I love those pink ones. Come here. I'll rub lotion on your back, baby."

I slip on some panties and set my folded pajama set on the bed before lying on my stomach. Jason gently massages the lotion into my skin and I swear I could fall asleep like this. He goes down from my shoulders, across my lower back, rubbing my ass- which is a surprisingly calming sensation. He leans down and kisses between my shoulder blades.

"I love you, my princess," he says.

I turn my head and look up at him. "I love you too, sweetheart. I love being yours."

"Ooh." He makes me flip over and leans down and kisses my lips. "You're being extra sweet today, bunny."

My heart twitters and flutters and does all sorts of things I don't know how to describe. I grip his forearms as he slowly starts to kiss my breasts. "Oh, baby," I whine. They're still all tingly from the hot shower and his mouth is chilled from the ice water he'd been drinking. He twirls his tongue along one nipple and that's when his phone dings.

"One second," he says, reaching for it.

I pout. "You're so mean."

"I'm waiting on room service for us, babygirl." He glances at the screen. "And here we are. Get dressed."

"Wouldn't they just knock?" I sit up, pulling on my silky pj shorts. He helps me button up the shirt.

"It's Cleo, Ronnie." Jason smirks. "I, uh, ordered more towels."

My eyes light up. "The little robot guy! Oh my gosh!"

Jason laughs and leads me to the door. I unlock it and there she is. She goes to maybe my knee and makes a polite little sound. I kneel down and giggle. I notice then that Jason's recording. I roll my eyes.

"Press the button on the top, honey," he says, smiling big.

I do and the lid slowly opens to reveal an open ring box with a paper saying _marry me?_

My first thought is that this had to have gone to the wrong room. I cover my mouth with my hand and just sit there, staring. How do I even...? This is so out of nowhere. But is it? This was my birthday trip, after all. And we did talk about taking a "bigger step." This _had_ to be what he was asking.

_Hopefully more than just her birthday._

"Oh, darling," I whisper. A tear rolls down my cheek. "I don't know what to say."

He kneels by me. "How about yes?" Jason reaches out and pulls me into a hug. "Veronica, my baby, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. You know things about me not a single soul does. I could be with you for the rest of my life and every day I'd love you a little more. It would mean everything if I could be your husband."

I sob into his chest. I'm practically vomiting emotion as I just cling to him. "Did you get the front desk in on this?"

He laughs a little as he leans back to look at me, wiping my tears. "Mhmm."

"You picked out the ring yourself?" I reach for the box to get a closer look. It's a delicate cut, small but beautiful. It fits my taste perfectly. Exactly the right design.

"It was my mother's." He takes the box from me and makes me stand. "So what do you say, Veronica? Will you be mine? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, 'til death do we part?"

"Only if we can be ghosts together." I touch his cheek. "Yes. I love you. Yes, _yes_ , Jason."

He smiles tightly with tears in his eyes as he slides the ring on my finger. When he stands, I practically jump on him in a kiss, crying and hugging him because I've never ever been so happy.

"Hold on, hold on, I want a picture of you with Cleo," he laughs.

I kiss him about a dozen times before crawling out of his arms and kneeling by the robot. Jason shaps the photo with me showing off my ring. Then our _actual_ room service arrives, but it's a girl with a tray of plates and things. 

Her eyes widen. "So _you're_ the proposal ones! Did she say yes?!"

"Yes, she did!" Jason pulls me up to my feet and smiles at me. 

The girl smiles big before handing Jason a plate of strawberries, two glasses, and a bottle of champagne in ice. She says goodbye and I watch Cleo beep on after her. How could a _robot_ be so cute?

"Alright. Romantic setting? Check. Marriage? Check. It's all going well."

"Don't tell me you planned _everything_ out," I laugh. 

He pulls me to the bed with our treats and sets me up on some pillows. I let him wiggle into the blankets with me and he cuddles close, filling our glasses.

"Maybe..." he drawls

I roll my eyes. 

That night, even though we've had sex about a billion times before, the lovemaking was the most intimate thing I've ever experienced. And I will _never_ forget the look in his eyes. 


	15. crisps

"Good gravy jeez, it is hot as balls," I whine, storming out of the elevator into the air-conditioned apartment. "I've been wearing this ring for _three days_ and it feels tight."

When I pass the kitchen, I blush. "Oh... we have a visitor."

My eyes fixate on the man, black shirt loosely around his body while he smiles at me. His arm's around Abigail. Jason and him look up from conversation. 

"Hey, baby," Jason says, smiling at me. "Get home from work okay?"

I huff. "Eh, Who's...he?"

"Jameson Ponchaud, miss," the man says politely. "Um, Abigail and I are..."

"Together," she finishes, grinning at him. This earns her a blush from him and I give Jason a side-eyed glance. 

He waves me over and kisses my cheek. "Sweetheart, it seems Abby will be moving out."

 _"What?"_ My eyes widen and I stare at her. "Pardon me, but you literally _just_ met-"

She shakes her head. "I actually met him two months ago."

"At the supermarket," Jameson says with a shy little laugh. "Helped me find the... _chips_. Yeah."

"Okay, so when you said you had a date, you failed to mention this was a two-month-long, move-in-ably serious thing," I say. 

I cross my arms. She shrugs. "It's not forever. I just don't want to be a burden anymore. You two have been so sweet in putting me up. But Jamie's flat is closer to my job anyway. So I'm just trying to afford my _own_ place for now."

"I'm happy to have her as long as she needs," Jamie adds. 

His voice really is something. It's so smooth. Syrupy, really. And posh is most definitely a good term. I don't know what part of the UK he's from, but either way, I have to admit, that accent is pretty hot. 

**(a/n: E, if you're reading this, YOU BETTER GET THE JOKE OF THAT WORD OMG)**

"But... you're really leaving?" 

She wiggles free of his hug and wraps her arms around me instead. "I won't be far. This is just so wonderful for me, Ron. I promise we can still hang out loads."

"I'm gonna really miss you."

"Me too." She smiles at me weakly when she leans back. "But hey, you've locked me in as a bridesmaid, therefore I will pester you about wedding plans until one of us dies of too much cake tasting."

I laugh a little, patting at my teary eyes. "So," I start, sniffling, "more about your man?"

"Oh, yes!" She scuttles back over to him, still looking tiny next to him even though she has a few inches on me. He rests his chin on her head with a smile. "Tell them about you, babe."

He chuckles into her hair, shaking his head with a shy smile. "Well... I have family here. Although I'm originally from the south end of England. Opening up an antique shop."

"Ooh. Fancy." I walk around the island to Jason and finally give him his hello-hug. "Why America?"

"Wanted something new, I suppose." He sighs. "Actually, that's not true. I chased a girl. It didn't work. But I like it here anyway. And now I've met this sweet thing."

Abby makes a contented noise as she hugs him. "Come on, we need to go soon if I'm going to have time to make you dinner."

"I suppose you're right, love." He pecks his lips against the top of her head. "Thank you for the talk, Jason."

Jason nods. We walk them to the elevator, Abby with her two suitcases worth of belongings. When the doors close, Jason nods again.

"I like him," he says. "He'll be good for her."

"You deduced that how? He likes old shit and probably drinks too much tea."

He laughs, running his fingers through my hair before tugging me to the kitchen for dinner.

"I just think he's very kind. And someone like that, the caring and supportive kind, is exactly who Abby should have. He's going to treat her right. She needs that after all she's been through."

"But what's with them knowing each other for so long if their first date was only days ago?"

He pockets his phone as Miss Walker enters the room to begin the meal. I lean against the counter, intrigued by whatever this answer could be.

"They... well, I don't have all the story. But Abigail told me they were more like "online buddies" for a long time. She was nervous."

I shrug. "That's fair. Online buddies, though...?"

"Veronica," he presses, "that's not our business."

I throw my hands up. "Dunno, I think it is! Why does she always tell _you_ everything? If she has a fucking Harry Styles doppelgänger sliding into her DMs, I want to know! Especially if they're _moving in_ together and whatever. He could be a... I don't know, a SERIAL KILLER for all we know!"

"Uh-huh. He seemed so scary."

"Shut up, you know what I mean. I don't like this."

"Well it isn't our choice to make. I'm going to go answer emails before dinner."

I watch him walk to the office before I tumble upstairs and flop on Abby's stripped bed. I stare out her window for a while before I notice the piece of paper on her empty dresser. I quickly snatch it up. A receipt for Adam and Eve. Purchased two days ago, a "Fetish Fantasy Candy Ball Gag."

I start laughing and quickly ball it up and toss it into the trash. 

So now I know how chocolate that ice cream will be. And good for her, damn it. 

Dinner with Jason is a quiet, happy event as always. I shower and lay in bed reading for a while before re-scrolling my wedding Pinterest boards for the eight millionth time. Then it's lights out.

\---

I wake in the middle of the night with a start. I'm sweating through my nightgown and gasping.

All I saw was broken glass flying. Metal screeching. A head of auburn hair bobbing forward, heart decimated. The white of an airbag. The patter of rain.

"Ronnie, Ronnie, shhh," Jason's voice coos. "You're okay. You're just fine, babygirl. See? I've got you. You're safe here."

I start to cry and he holds me. I'm still trapped between a half-dream, half-real world. He leads me to the window so I can look out, stroking my back. I press my forehead against the glass. 

As Chicago glitters beneath us, a grid of building after building, I know one thing. That no matter what, no matter who, and no matter why, Jason is there. And he -unlike others- would never hurt me.

So I swallow and turn into his chest. I sleep the rest of the night soundly, wrapped in my fiancé's gentle embrace. 

**sorry this whole chapter was a big joke for my friend E who jameson is based on :)))**


	16. eerie

The man paces back and forth, hands shoved into his pockets, staring out at the rippling lake. He knows just across the street is where she's sleeping. He knows she's just out of reach.

If only he could get _in_ there somehow. But that's too far. The way to her isn't through her safety or her things.

It's through her heart. Her love. Her people.

Her person...

His cellphone rings. "Hello?" he growls.

"Kurt," a friend says over the line, "when did you need those text messages by?"

**End of Book Two**


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